BatchBen #8: Hometown dates

I heard ahead of time how this one turned out, and I'm so disgusted with Ben I'm mailing it in from here. I hope he ends up with Courtney. They deserve each other. I think this season of the Bachelor is a case study in how television can turn a good guy into a tool.

First, a couple of observations: a) Why all the fuss when the girl comes into the family home? She's been there for DAYS. b) Is all that food people aren't eating during the dinners nobody wants that drag on for hours in front of the camera going to feed hungry children somewhere?

Anyway, first up, Lindzi: I like a girl who names her horse Devin. Maurice and Clint would've also been acceptable. Lindzi, you can do better. Much. I must say, though, this date is making me think better of Florida. Nice spot.

Next, Kacie: Why are they still calling her Kacie B.? I think we're pretty clear on which Kacie we're dealing with. I love that swing coat of hers. Of course, I love her, so...that helps the coat. Her folks sure came across as a stiff pair at first. How did Suzie Sparkles come out of those two? But then I heard them being actually rational and serious about this whole thing...a voice of sanity! Girl, they may have just saved you! Go home to your good family and be grateful. Also be grateful they've already cast the next Bachelorette and you don't have to go down the same toilet Ben just did.

Now, Nicki: Ben's hair under a cowboy hat is ridiculous. It definitely says "I'm a Sonoma toff in a costume!" After that, I confess I kinda checked out of the rest of this date. Whatever.

And the one they saved for last, Courtney, who says she "isn't proud" of everything she's done to get here. That the reason for her previous man problems isn't obvious to her is a sign of serious mental and social retardation. Wise mother (who also does affected things with her lips when she talks) doesn't think Courtney could actually be in love [translation: because she knows her]. Courtney is preening and touching her hair less here. Interpretations, please? Is that a competitive gesture she doesn't need when there aren't other girls around? Ironic that she admires that he has "no hidden agenda." I guess we're supposed to attach ourselves to people who make us better, so, good luck with that, girl.

Finally, the rose ceremony. Ben, you're an idiot. Kacie would've made you a better man. So choose Courtney. Be miserable. Break up on the front pages of Us Weekly. Be a laughingstock. Go on, now. (And Kacie, you're the classiest thing we've seen on this show.)