Emily #9: Isn't "men tell all" an oxymoron?

Need any more proof that The Bachelor/ette is nothing like the real world? I think the real reason we tune in to this episode is because we're so intrigued with the novelty of a big group of men sitting around talking about their feelings, dwelling on the past, re-examining things they did or said...Good luck coming up with just one example of another time or place where you'd see THAT happen.

But clearly, these producers are not idiots, and they knew full well that they could NEVER fill two hours with that, so we got a good long journey down memory lane with Emily first, then previewed Bachelor Pad, and only then talked to the men for as long as possible. (And then they still had to fill with a good long preview of next week.) But I don't mind, because I've really grown to like Emily. Boring Barbie no more. Sistah's a little salty, it turns out. And Bachelor Pad looks like another grisly, can't-look-away train wreck.

Figure 9.1: The dangers of knowing you're pretty

I do appreciate how much more direct the men are in saying what they think of each other than the women are in their version. I guess the trouble is women have SO much invested in being liked by everybody that when a woman confronts another everything turns straight vicious. The men manage to do it without all the snottiness.

In a show as weird as this, it's surprising what an accurate read we can get on people. Kalon edited = Kalon live. Nope, producers didn't make that Narcissus up out of little snippets from the cutting room floor. He is what he is (see Figure 9.1). Emily, when she got there, handled THAT piece of work just fine on her own, thank you very much. In a surprising twist, Ryan edited = well, Ryan live. No shortage of sweet self-lovin' there, either. With a wink thrown in for good measure. And Chris edited has just as thin a skin as Chris live. (So sorry he decided to do Bachelor Pad. Can you think of a worse environment for somebody who just needs to find a sweet, gentle, goodhearted girl who thinks he hung the moon?) Sean, of course, is still first quality. No faking that.

So...who's it gonna be? Chemistry usually wins, which tilts the scale toward Arie. But with a single mom, we've got a wild card. Maybe the pull toward the nice boy (with the nicer family) is a little stronger. Jef gets my vote, but of course, I'm not picking. Hmmm...