William--oooh. Bad night for you. Impressions, cutting in...
Jeff, lurking on the stairs, blaming everybody for judging him on his appearance. Dude, the problem isn't your appearance. It's the choosing to act creepy. Saying things like "I've never been happier" when you're sitting in the dark with a mask on telling about your divorce and brain problems. And the producers definitely told Matt to walk up right as he was about to take it off. They're not stupid.
Ben whining about his lack of opportunity. Going nowhere, dude. Another midlister.
Why does Bentley want NO ONE to ever date him again?
Ah! She has good radar for when people are sincere! She actually needs to hook up with Phillip from Survivor who has his mad Special Agent skills for reading people. Together they could know everything about everybody.
Chris is here now to tell us that Ashley feels "really good about the way this is going." I'm sure that'll make the guys going home feel better.
Can someone give me a count for how many times she's told people to "trust this" or "have faith in this process"? Seems rather self-serving. All but one of the guys are going to get cut off at the knees at some point, so...what, exactly, is trust going to do for them?
Do the roses have tiny, tiny little names attached to them? There's no way she could know everybody's names by now.
Just me, or was Chris a tad late with his entrance, leaving Ashley awkwardly staring at that final rose and wondering whether she was going to have to do her own math?
Confirmed: The outtakes at the end are my favorite part. I want a feature reel of just Jeffy Masko hanging out with the guys, eating chips, swimming laps...you know. Just being a normal dude.
Okay, ladies! Let's have it!
I'm convinced that a staff of 15 interns is required to light all the candles at the mansion on rose ceremony.
ReplyDeleteHas anyone else notice that The Mask doesn’t smile? I would like to imagine him coming in instead, doing a mask with upside down fingers (you know, like where you make in "ok" sign with both hands, and then turn them upside down and put your eyes through the holes), where he says, “I want her to get to know the real me. Take me seriously.” Also, I felt like his skin tone during those final scenes was really quite green. Too much time in the pool? Chlorine getting to you?
Some attention definitely needs to be drawn to how many times she said “Have faith in the process.” Why? Because it works? Well, no, that's only true in about 9% of the Bachelor/ette scenarios. Maybe she's referring to a different process. Like, the process of her weening herself off of those teeny tiny name tags on the flowers. Or, maybe it's the process of everyone finding a tragic story from their past that will be sad enough for her to say that she is "literally shaking" because she's so sad for them. But probably she's referring to the process of her "trusting her gut" only to realize that her gut is actually really bad at telling her things about people.
I'm really thrilled to see that it's actually next week (and not in the final ceremony) where apparently Ashely's heart gets broken. I mean, obviously I/we am/are not Ashley's #1 fan, but Bentley has got to go. It just makes me uncomfortable. I'm not a monster. And I can see how it would be hard to live in Emily's shadow. But considering the places they are both in now, I think it's safe to say that Ashley actually ended up with the better deal.
Did anyone notice when Ashley said, “I love Mama’s Boys.” Wait, is she talking about that awesome reality TV show from a few years back? Because if so, I love Mama’s Boys, too.
ReplyDeleteKory: (after kiss #3 with JP) "She is now a prostitute."
Now for Jeff. Does he lurk because he’s wearing the mask? Or does he wear the mask because he lurks? Of course they get one-on-one time on the staircase, his favorite location for lurking.
Ben C. I’m pretty sure I’ve never seen this person. Also, he’s talking really fast.
“Swimming in pee.” Ahhhhahaha.
Kory: (when Ryan M. doesn't have a rose) "Is Wiener going home?"
And yeah, I think Ashley has major Emily issues. Luckily she'll get to come face-to-face with them next week.