Bentley, you contract-breaking weak sauce. Where are you? According to someone Cheryl knows who knows somebody else, he's in Park City with Emily. Stay tuned for more. But you'd have to stay tuned for a long time.
T-shirt Tim the Drunk Guy looks like a drunk guy when he's sober. Nice you could dress. With that Jersey accent he's got "I Like Beer" stamped on his forehead. Correction: "I Like Beeyah."
Jeff the Mask looks really, really hurt that people are still laughing at him.
You know, back in the first episode, William the Commediam did not come across as the kind of creep he seems to be. Had him picked for the final few. Oops. The pain he's still suffering over the roast business is a bit redeeming, though. Perhaps he's reformed.
Stalker Ryan Rah-Rah...brought nothing new to the interview. Next!
Ames still looks dazed. I think it's the eyes on the sides of his head. And the post-whiplash neck stiffness. And the mannequin wave. He sure is hitting with the ladies in the audience, though. There seems to be a real "We'll take your underappreciated castoff!" phenomenon.
Bentley. Still. "We worked really hard to invite him, but he declined." Seriously? They have a CONTRACT. I'd be interested to know how he weaseled out.
And at the end, one nagging question: How does the Bachelorette manage to find so many damaged, pretty packages as these men?
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Bachelorette: Ashley, episode 10: Boys' Night Out
...or, the kind of event they had to get the men to sign contracts to do: Talking to other men, with cameras rolling, about feelings and romantic failure. How could anyone miss THAT? So let's begin with the beginning:
Ashley's reflections on people we'd forgotten: Uh, I got nuthin, except a little chuckle at Ashley saying she's a little hurt that people can be so negative in thinking she's a dope over the Bentley thing. Wake up, sister.
Ashley's reflections on moments we didn't see during the show: These are the best outtakes you got? Dang. This show was BORING off-camera. Although I was a bit struck with the wrapup, when Chris said that he hoped everything has worked out well and Ashley just said, "Thanks Chris!" Hmm.
I think the preview for Bachelor Pad was the best part of this segment. And I still can't understand anything Casey says except that he wants to punch Jake and tell him "That's for America! That's for my girlfriend!"
I think this is a good time to get to the boys...
Ashley's reflections on people we'd forgotten: Uh, I got nuthin, except a little chuckle at Ashley saying she's a little hurt that people can be so negative in thinking she's a dope over the Bentley thing. Wake up, sister.
Ashley's reflections on moments we didn't see during the show: These are the best outtakes you got? Dang. This show was BORING off-camera. Although I was a bit struck with the wrapup, when Chris said that he hoped everything has worked out well and Ashley just said, "Thanks Chris!" Hmm.
I think the preview for Bachelor Pad was the best part of this segment. And I still can't understand anything Casey says except that he wants to punch Jake and tell him "That's for America! That's for my girlfriend!"
I think this is a good time to get to the boys...
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Episode 9 #7: A rose ceremony without math
And it's raining. Again. Should this mean something? For now, at least, it's a fitting accompaniment to a pretty anticlimactic wrapup. Gray. Drippy. And all the oversharing will have to wait another episode or two. (But can we hardly wait for the fight with the super-inked sister?) So maybe this is a good time to start a list of Things That Are Odd About Bachelor/ette Dating (excluding the original premise, of course):
People who had a great night together and are starting to get twittered don't talk between dates. No phone calls, no texting, no expressions of extracurricular interest.
Standing at the opposite ends of a long rug to talk about where the relationship will go from here.
Watching how your love interest flirts with other people.
Talking to strangers about how you're feeling before, during, and after a date.
And finally, wondering what your rejects are going to say about you at The Men Tell All! Double whammy this week! See you Sunday! Until then, keep adding to the list.
People who had a great night together and are starting to get twittered don't talk between dates. No phone calls, no texting, no expressions of extracurricular interest.
Standing at the opposite ends of a long rug to talk about where the relationship will go from here.
Watching how your love interest flirts with other people.
Talking to strangers about how you're feeling before, during, and after a date.
And finally, wondering what your rejects are going to say about you at The Men Tell All! Double whammy this week! See you Sunday! Until then, keep adding to the list.
Episode 9 #6: JP's date
...in which we've been led to believe she's going to overshare. But not yet! First, let's start out taking another aerial tour over Fiji. Early Restraint prize to Ashley for not saying "Yeah, I saw all this with Constantine in a helicopter yesterday." Just saving it up for later, I guess.
No signs of trouble yet. Date seems to be going swimmingly well, but for a small problem of being stuck in the "who's-going-to-commit-first" whirlpool. Answer: Neither one. But we'll go for the fantasy suite anyway. I mean, maybe somebody will break through THERE! But no, the camera crew is going to leave some things unrevealed. Barely.
No signs of trouble yet. Date seems to be going swimmingly well, but for a small problem of being stuck in the "who's-going-to-commit-first" whirlpool. Answer: Neither one. But we'll go for the fantasy suite anyway. I mean, maybe somebody will break through THERE! But no, the camera crew is going to leave some things unrevealed. Barely.
Episode 9 #5: Uh, Ryan, so I've been thinking...
Ryan, take a clue: She's got her hair in a braid and is wearing kickin'-around shorts and a tucked-in shirt. When it's not All About Ashley's Abs, she's just not that into you.
Hurts just as much the second time, doesn't it?
Did you note that grim determination in his jaw when, talking about the girl and the life in his future, he said the third time, "It'll happen"? Watch out, womankind. Especially the perky ones.
Hurts just as much the second time, doesn't it?
Did you note that grim determination in his jaw when, talking about the girl and the life in his future, he said the third time, "It'll happen"? Watch out, womankind. Especially the perky ones.
Episode 9 #4: Constantine's date
...or, Ben's date #2 (or was Ben's date Constantine's #1?) But wait! Gasp! What an unbelievable surprise! A helicopter on a Bachelorette date! Let's see if we can spot the cameraman's knee in one of the shots like we could in one of Brad's dates.
Nope. Instead we get Ryan standing there watching the helicopter pass overhead. He says it's been really hard, just waiting for days there in Fiji. Poor guy. Gazing out over the water with nothing to do. Having to choose a different beach to do it on every day. Tsk. The things people endure for love.
Ashley's having to plead with Constantine to be into her. I love the way Constantine doesn't just go along with it. Love the way he's clear about where he stands. Love the way he already knew he'd say no to the fantasy suite.
WHOA! Honest gasp. Honest. I was NOT prepared for him to say "This is the end of the road for me." This is my new favorite bachelor. Or does it go back to strange mother issues? Either way, I think we just watched the next Bachelor walk off the set.
...and I love the shot of Ashley reading that invitation to the fantasy suite by herself.
Nope. Instead we get Ryan standing there watching the helicopter pass overhead. He says it's been really hard, just waiting for days there in Fiji. Poor guy. Gazing out over the water with nothing to do. Having to choose a different beach to do it on every day. Tsk. The things people endure for love.
Ashley's having to plead with Constantine to be into her. I love the way Constantine doesn't just go along with it. Love the way he's clear about where he stands. Love the way he already knew he'd say no to the fantasy suite.
WHOA! Honest gasp. Honest. I was NOT prepared for him to say "This is the end of the road for me." This is my new favorite bachelor. Or does it go back to strange mother issues? Either way, I think we just watched the next Bachelor walk off the set.
...and I love the shot of Ashley reading that invitation to the fantasy suite by herself.
Episode 9 #3: Ben's date
It looks like Ben got there a few days early and caught some rays. But I'm sure the rays are better on a yacht. Yacht people will tell you that, if you can find some to ask. So all aboard!
Oo! Ben "found himself" on "this journey." Let's hope Ashley ditches him and a better girl reaps the rewards. Someone who won't straddle him on national TV and when asked whether she's okay with it, says "I'm TOTALLY okay with it!" Think about it--dude. There's two (or more) other guys in the mix. That level of casual intimacy doesn't bode well for the character of the girl you're eyeing.
Love how he says "I'm floating" while wearing...a LIFE VEST! Hah! For clarification: If you're older than six and I see you snorkeling in a life vest I'm going to laugh. I don't care how cute you are.
There's something very boyish and kinda innocent about dear Ben. I guess I'm feeling kinda maternal about this nice sweet boy. That invitation to the fantasy suite just made me really uncomfortable, no matter how much he gushes to the camera about how great everything has been. Poor guy. This won't end well for him, even if (especially if?) he is the one she picks.
Oo! Ben "found himself" on "this journey." Let's hope Ashley ditches him and a better girl reaps the rewards. Someone who won't straddle him on national TV and when asked whether she's okay with it, says "I'm TOTALLY okay with it!" Think about it--dude. There's two (or more) other guys in the mix. That level of casual intimacy doesn't bode well for the character of the girl you're eyeing.
Love how he says "I'm floating" while wearing...a LIFE VEST! Hah! For clarification: If you're older than six and I see you snorkeling in a life vest I'm going to laugh. I don't care how cute you are.
There's something very boyish and kinda innocent about dear Ben. I guess I'm feeling kinda maternal about this nice sweet boy. That invitation to the fantasy suite just made me really uncomfortable, no matter how much he gushes to the camera about how great everything has been. Poor guy. This won't end well for him, even if (especially if?) he is the one she picks.
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