Monday, July 18, 2011

Episode 8 #2: Constantine from Cumming

What a lousy name for a town. Still, it looks nice, and the home brew on his coffee must be stronger because Constantine looks AWAKE and is talking a LOT faster than I've seen him out on the road.

First stop: The family restaurant. Is anybody else wishing that Ashley was wearing a hairnet over all those salad ingredients and pizza sauce? Sure, all those lookey-loo staff peeking in the window acted charmed and googly, but what they're REALLY thinking is Crap. We gotta restock ALL that stuff.

Constantine's mom's most important question for Ashley is whether she would be willing to move? Not, how are you with money, or do you like kids, or what kind of spiritual person are you, or even, do you love my son? Nope--will you make sure I get to keep my boy right here. Ouch. Watch it, girl. There are mother-in-law issues brewing here, right alongside that strong coffee.

Oh, producers, did you have to be so obvious? Hey! Constantine has a Greek family! We know all about Greeks because we saw the movie about the wedding! Bring them all in! Make them dance! Make them say Opa! Make sure there's an arthritic granny clapping on the sofa! Where's the Windex?

7 comments:

  1. Ya. This looked fun on TV, but anyone who's ever been married knows that there are some MAJOR red flags for this family. A little too tight knit. This is gonna be a family in your business all the time. Watch out.

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  2. My favorite part was Ashley trying to put Constantine on her pizza when asked to choose her favorite ingredients. Gooey.

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  3. Am I the only one that can hardly tell Ben and Constantine apart?

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  4. I mean they look the SAME. An she is always going on and on about how they ate both what she wants physically. Does this girl have a type or what?

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  5. Sorry for the typos. I'm terrible on my iPod.

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  6. Oh, they totally look the same. I got confused about it last week, and Cheryl said the tell was that Constantine looks sleepy. Or was that Ben?

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  7. Definitely Constantine. Ben has cheekbones. And - according to the rose ceremony at the end - a pretty bad new/shorter haircut. I think things should be easier from here on out.

    And yeah, I really liked the single most important question that his mom could ask. After extremely insightful answer, everything was resolved, she knew everything she needed to know about Ashley, and they could dance.

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